Public Letters

I know I probably shouldn't be sending this.

I know this is probably the last place you'd expect to hear from me, and I know you blocked me for a reason. I respect that. Pero wala na rin talaga akong ibang way to say this, so I took the chance and emailed you. It's been 8 months since we last talked, and honestly, ang tagal na. I thought by now I would've completely gotten over you. Apparently, hindi pala.

One month na lang birthday mo na, and for some reason, that made me think about you even more. I don't know why I still remember things like that after 8 months, pero I do. I almost didn't send this because I know how random it is, but I kept thinking na baka mas pagsisihan ko kung hindi ko man lang sinabi.

I don't even know if you have someone now. Maybe you do. Maybe you're already happy with someone else. Maybe I'm already way too late. Pero I've been thinking about you more than I should, and kahit ilang buwan na ang lumipas, may part pa rin sa'kin na gusto ka.

I still remember our conversations. Yung mga random na bagay na pinag-uusapan natin, how easy it was to talk to you, and how I genuinely looked forward to hearing from you. Sayang talaga yung atin. Eight months later, I still catch myself wondering what would've happened if we actually gave it a real chance.

And honestly, you're still the best girl I've ever met. Ang ganda mo, matalino ka, maalaga ka. Pero it's more than that. There's just something about you that stayed with me. Hindi ko man nasabi nang maayos dati, pero you really meant a lot to me.

I know emailing you after being blocked might be something you don't want, and I'm not trying to force myself back into your life. I just wanted to shoot my shot, kahit once. Maybe this is stupid, but I'd rather be honest than spend another year wondering what would've happened if I had tried.

If there's someone in your life now, I'll respect that. If you don't feel the same anymore, I'll understand. Pero if there's even a small part of you that still thinks about us, I hope you'll let me know.

Because after 8 months, my answer hasn't really changed.

I still want you. I still want us. And I still wonder if maybe, somehow, we deserve another chance.